The Leadership Balancing Act: Balancing Leadership Roles in Real Time - Who Am I?

Monthly Reflections on Soulful Leadership

There’s a peculiar kind of tension that comes with balancing leadership roles from within the system you’re trying to influence. One minute you’re modelling best practice in the classroom, the next you’re delivering coaching feedback, leading a meeting, or navigating tricky conversations with colleagues you call friends. It’s a delicate dance between roles; between teacher and senior leader, between peer and authority, between action and reflection. And the real question so many leaders face (but rarely say out loud) is this:

"Who am I being right now, and is it enough?"

That question sat quietly at the centre of a recent coaching journey I facilitated with three school leaders. Each of them held formal responsibilities across curriculum, coaching, and strategic planning, but also taught full-time classes and wore the daily uniform of care, vigilance, and unrelenting commitment that teaching demands. They were deeply respected, deeply competent... and deeply stretched.

As we explored the lived experience of their leadership, we began mapping out the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) boundary blur between their teaching identity and leadership identity. They weren’t struggling because they lacked skill or vision. They were struggling because no one had ever named the quiet cost of balancing leadership roles, or given them the space to ask how both hats might be worn with less friction, more clarity, and more grace.

A Reflective Tool for Balancing Leadership Roles

We used a simple structure to begin:

• What aspects of my role are clearly "teaching"?

• What aspects are clearly "leadership"?

• And where is the messy, overlapping middle that causes me stress, guilt, or self-doubt?

In that middle space, people shared things like:

• "Knowing when to step in or step back with a colleague I’m mentoring."

• "Carrying responsibility for curriculum planning while also managing end-of-day chaos in my own classroom."

• "Feeling I need to be perfect in my classroom because I coach others."

These are tender tensions. But they’re also powerful portals into clarity. Because once we name them, we can start to navigate them with intention.

Parallel Lives: The Personal Layer

The same balancing act often shows up in our personal lives too. Many of us walk through our days playing multiple roles: parent, partner, friend, carer, creator. We instinctively shift from nurturing to managing to inspiring to holding space. And the invisible question persists:

"Who am I in this moment... and what does this version of me need?"

The answer isn’t always clean. Sometimes, we need to pause and renegotiate with ourselves. To accept that we can’t pour from an empty cup. That we are allowed to lead, love, rest, and receive, without always having to explain which hat we’re wearing.

So much burnout comes not from doing too much in itself, but from doing too much while pretending it's all fine. Soulful leadership in any arena begins with a willingness to witness ourselves gently, without judgement.

A Closing Prompt for You

As you move through this month, consider asking yourself:

Where in my life or leadership might I benefit from reclarifying the lines?

What part of me is asking to be seen and softened, not managed or masked?

And if you find yourself caught in the tightrope walk between roles, take a moment. Breathe. Step off the rope for a moment. The ground is still there. And so are you.

Until next month,

Nadine Abeng

Monthly Reflections on Soulful Leadership is part of Nadine’s wider work supporting leaders to live and lead in alignment with their essence. Rooted in practical tools, spiritual insight and fierce self-honesty. This month’s reflection dives into the lived experience of balancing leadership roles in school settings and beyond.