My Story:
Finally loving the life I am living!
The past few months have been transformational for me. But let me start somewhere closer to the beginning.
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As a young black girl growing up, my mother, my family, society in general, gave me life lessons such as:
"Nadine, you'll have to work twice as hard to get half as far as others. Don't complain, just get on with it."
"If you want a place at the table, you'll have to fight for it."
"Black women are strong, independent and assertive, that's the only way to get ahead."
"Get an education, a good job and a husband (in that order) to be successful."
Well, I really took these lessons to heart and did my best to live up to them. In turn, life did it's best too and made it so that I had to fight to be heard and make demands just to get my fair share. I spent 30 years embodying these and similar ideas, determined to claim my success (and the happiness that is supposed to go with it).
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By the time I reached my early forties, I was tired of the fight. I should have made it by now I thought. So why did it feel like I was still struggling? I've met every goal, I've made it haven't I? Where is my peace? My serenity? My security? My sense of accomplishment having fulfilled my life purpose?
I felt like I had been cheated. I had worked hard. I had fought for my position in life. I had a good education, a good job, a husband and three children. So where was the happiness I had been promised? I had won the battle but seemed to have lost the war. Life had worn me down and I was fed up.
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Daily life felt more like a punishment than a reward. Any time I dared to complain, I was met with dissenting voices, all claiming that they'd love to live my life. That I had it all, what was there to complain about, Nadine?
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The truth is, I was miserable. Yes I had all the trappings of success but none of the pleasure. I felt trapped and stiffled and felt like there was no way out.
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"There has to be more to life than this?" I wondered. Surely my life's purpose was not this daily monotony - to get up, sort the kids, go to work, pay the bills, sort the family, sleep and repeat - with the occasional social event thrown in for good measure.
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I fantasied about throwing it all in, leaving the trappings behind and living in a tent for a year - but deep down I knew that was not the legacy I wanted to leave my three daughters. If I wondered about the meaning of life, then eventually they would too I reasoned. It was my job to guide them, so I set about researching.
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Not long before, I'd begun coaching with a mind to branching out of my career in education. The techniques and and tools I'd learnt were great and coupled with the research I'd been doing, I was beginning reach a new level of clarity.
The problem was I only knew in theory what to do to better live in my life purpose, but putting the theory into action was a different matter entirely.
That's where coaching came into its own. It was the 'how to' I had been looking for. I used my weekly coaching sessions to explore the true issues I was facing instead of addressing the surface level symptoms. For example, I realised that the irritations of being given too much work to do was a deeper issue of not being able to set (and stick to) personal boundaries. With the help of my coach, I rehearsed conversational responses that allowed me to live my truth without the incessant worry of 'letting someone down'.
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Now, instead of feeling trapped in my life, I feel energised by my life. Excited to see what I will get to experience next. I no longer fight to get what's mine. Not because it comes easily, but because I respond easily. I have realised that the kind of inner peace I was looking for was within me the whole time - it took coaching to help me to release it.
Other people have started to notice and they even comment on how happy I look. I simply smile to myself, thinking about how purposeful my life is now. ​The hard times still come, but now I have the tools and techniques I need to weather any storm. This is the inner peace I had been longing for and I had gifted it to myself, with the power of coaching. We all want a better, more fulfilling and loving life and I’ve finally learnt the secrets to achieving it.
If my story resonates with you then let me help you:
I’m currently offering complementary discovery sessions, completely free with no obligations.
In the session, we’ll uncover some of the hidden obstacles that could be sabotaging your attempts to improve your life. We will also identify a crystal clear vision of your life purpose and some positive steps you can take now to start your transformation.
You’ll leave the session feeling positive, motivated and ready to take action.
Click the link below to get started.