Misery Loves Company—But What Are You Really Attracting?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to bond over complaints? Whether it’s about the traffic, the weather, or the chaos of daily life, we often use shared frustration to connect with others.

A group of women sharing a coffee: we can shift from negativity to empowerment through collective support.

Here in the UK, small talk frequently revolves around these little grievances.

But have you ever stopped to think about the impact this has on your mindset and your social circles?

When we constantly voice our frustrations, we aren’t just venting—we’re calling more of that negativity into our lives. The energy we project creates a ripple effect, attracting people who feel the same way. Before you know it, you’ve surrounded yourself with a circle of complainers, reinforcing the idea that life is hard, meditation is impossible, or your goals are out of reach. This, in turn, makes it even harder to change your habits or shift your mindset.

But what if we approached things differently? Instead of saying, "I can’t meditate," try reframing it: "I’m learning to meditate. It’s challenging now, but it’s getting easier." This simple shift brings about a different energy, attracting people who are also striving for improvement. Suddenly, you're not surrounded by individuals who agree that meditation is impossible—you’re surrounded by people who want to help you succeed, who share tools, tips, and encouragement.

The words we choose matter. If we focus on growth, possibility, and learning, we will naturally attract people who uplift and empower us. Our language creates our tribe, so choose words that align with the life you want to lead.

Next time you find yourself about to complain, take a step back. Can you transform the situation with more empowering language? You don’t need to pretend things are perfect, but you can choose to see the potential for growth. Misery might love company, but positivity and progress love it even more.

So, who do you want in your tribe?