How to Be Happy ‘Now’ – No More Waiting for "When"

A professionally dressed woman with arms outstretched and a blissful look on her face

Have you ever found yourself saying, "I'll be happy when…" – ‘when’ you get that promotion, ‘when’ your kids are settled, or ‘when’ you finally buy that bigger house? If you're like most of us, you’ve probably spent a good part of your life in this cycle of waiting. Waiting for happiness, waiting for peace, waiting for that ‘one thing’ to make everything better.

As a working mum, I get it. The demands of balancing work, family, and personal growth can often feel overwhelming. You might feel like happiness is just out of reach, tied to some future event: “I’ll be happy when the kids start sleeping through the night,” “I’ll be happy when the house stays tidy for more than five minutes,” or “I’ll be happy when I’m not always rushing to catch up.”

But we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment with this mindset. Here’s the problem: When you say, "I'll be happy when…", your happiness becomes dependent on external factors – things that are outside of your control. This leaves your happiness somewhere ‘out there’ in the world, or worse, in the distant future. The message you're sending to yourself is that happiness is not accessible right now, in this very moment.

The Shift from "When" to "And"

During my hypnotherapy training, I came across a mindset shift that completely changed the game for me. Instead of saying, "I’ll be happy when…", I started saying, "I’ll be happy ‘and’…". So, it became:

"I’ll be happy ‘and’ I’ll get that promotion."

"I’ll be happy ‘and’ my children will feel settled."

"I’ll be happy ‘and’ I’ll find the peace I’m seeking."

This change is subtle but ‘transformational’. Why? Because it tells your subconscious mind that you can be happy ‘right now’, while still striving for your goals. You can still want the promotion, the peaceful home, or the bigger house, but you don’t have to wait for those things to experience joy today.

This shift separates your happiness from the external things you’re chasing. It frees you from constantly placing your peace of mind on hold, waiting for life to “get better.” With this approach, happiness becomes something that you can feel in the present moment while continuing to pursue your dreams.

How to Start Practicing This Today

The first step is awareness. The next time you catch yourself saying, “I’ll be happy when…” – stop. Notice the pattern. Then consciously reframe it: “I’ll be happy ‘and’…” It may feel strange at first, but with time, this simple shift will become second nature. And soon, you’ll notice a difference in how you feel.

When you stop delaying your happiness, you open the door to joy ‘now’. You’ll still be motivated to achieve your goals, but your sense of peace will no longer be held hostage by them. You can have both: happiness ‘and’ the promotion, happiness ‘and’ harmony in your home, happiness ‘and’ financial success.

So, what will you be happy ‘and’ accomplish today?